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100 days.

Triple digits.

This is still all so surreal.



After Joe passed, we had visitors from all over.

Several people brought gifts.

We received plants, condolence cards, flowers, gift cards, all the food, and alcohol.



It’s no secret how much Joe and I both enjoyed a glass of wine, together.



But early on, I made the decision to refrain from alcohol after his passing. I had an immediate conviction that turning to alcohol was a slippery slope to go down.

I did not want to ‘numb the pain’ with a glass of wine (or more).

I have witnessed several friends turn to alcohol, especially over the last two years. I am guilty of this. But I learned that the consistent use of alcohol did not serve me well.



It made me anxious.

It disrupted my sleep, and made me feel like junk every day.

I did not want to feel this way – on top of grief.



To be clear, this is not a post about a sober journey, but rather a period of time where I am sober-minded. I strongly believe that my kids need me at my best (whatever that is right now).

I need me at my best.

…and to have alcohol in my body would greatly reduce me being at my best.



So, here’s to 100 days.

100 days of living.

100 days of facing the pain.

100 days of leaning into God.

100 days of embracing this new normal.

100 days of being wholly me.