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God’s Got My Back

Strength isn’t pretending to be something you’re not. 

Strength is having the courage to live from the truth of who you are.


We all have an unsuspected reserve of strength that emerges when life puts us to the test.  I have heard from many that I am strong, and honestly, I feel it.  I would say I don’t know how I am doing it, but I do.  God has been guiding my path through this journey and providing a supernatural strength.  (more to come on this)


But let’s talk about fear for a minute.

Where does fear come in and how does it steal our strength?


Fear is a natural response to challenges or the unknown.  It’s an emotion that serves a valuable purpose (fight of flight response), but it can quickly become unhealthy. 


I believe fear is something the enemy uses to steal our faith. 


Losing Joe was one of my biggest fears.  We talked about it – often.  I asked him often, what am I going to do if something happens to you? 


Let me stop here, and say, that I have already dealt with the feelings of me somehow manifesting his passing, so don’t come at me for that.  I didn’t.  It was his time.


But this was a real fear for me.

What AM I going to do if something happens to Joe?


Well, as much as it sucks, something did happen to Joe – and there are many details that are foggy about that week, but I do remember thinking and saying out loud, what am I going to do with him gone? 


I also remember saying, I can do this.  I’m not sure, but I will figure it out – and I am.


I do think it’s important though to share what fear has done to me.


Fear has robbed me of my current joy.


Just recently I had someone send me a message that created more fear in me than the thought of losing Joe ever did.  I fully believe the message was meant with the purest of hearts, but it created a moment of fear and anxiety that literally brought me to my knees, physically and spiritually.  As I read it out loud thinking it was going to be a positive message, I watched two of my kids shake and sob.  I found myself then worrying, what will my kids do if I’m gone?


This is fear.

Its entire job is to cripple us, to the point that we don’t see God.


It almost got me.



After an emotional moment, I went to my prayer circle.  I sent them the message and asked them to pray over me – and they did.  Oh my goodness did they. 


It is important to note that nights are the hardest for me.  These are the times with the enemy starts to creep into my mind, to rob precious rest from me.  This message came in right before I was headed to bed.  This message came at a time when I was feeling strong.  This message intended for good, pulled the rug out from under me and caused me to fear.


It caused me to fear the present moment.

It caused me to fear for the future.


In other moments of my life, I would have let fear win.

But I literally had to say, not today Satan.


God won.


Through the course of a few moments and an army of prayer warriors, I was able to rest. This is an excerpt of what I wrote in my journal that next morning:


Last night was the best night of sleep I’ve had in a month.  I put my worship playlist on and went right to sleep.


You know what - GOD does that.


The enemy sees me drawing closer to God - and he doesn’t like it.

The enemy is jealous that the thing brought to destroy our family - has brought us closer together.

The enemy hates that I’ve turned to Jesus for comfort, and not him.

The enemy hates seeing me win the battle over grief.

The enemy wants me to fail in my faith.  I won’t.


God’s got me.


HE’s got my back.

HE loves me and is providing my comfort.

HE has hedged a force field of security and protection around us.

HE would never want us anxious and fearful of our tomorrows.

HE wants us at peace.

HE wants us to dream of our futures.

HE wants us to WIN!


I have a note on my computer that says - Don’t says God’s NO for him.


I won’t.

It in HIS time and loving ways.

Not mine.

Not the enemy’s.


God’s got me.


Later that morning I spoke with my pastor and he wisely said, anytime fear comes up for you, filter it through scripture.  Unknowingly of that direction, I had already done this. 


We can rest in the fact that nothing takes our sovereign God by surprise. Take your fears, worries, and anxieties before God because He care about them, and He desires your good.  (1 Peter 5:7, Romans 8:28)


I knew the scripture was the proper filter. 


It’s not the enemy defeating us, he doesn’t have any power over us that we don’t give him. 


We have to get serious about our joy and peace. 

We have to take back the power to defend ourselves from the enemy who so desperately wants to see us fail.


I won’t fail. 

I know that God wants me to succeed.

He wants me to dream of my future.

He wants me to honor Him, even in my struggles. I pray that through my life, I am.


My truth – God’s got me.

He’s got my back.


Now I can lovingly bless and release that comment and know it is not God’s word – and is solely the enemy’s (failed) attempt to take me down. 


Friend, if you’re wondering if God’s got you, I can promise you He does.