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The Wine Jesus Drank: Why would he refuse the first, and drink the second?

Twice Jesus was offered wine on the cross.
He refused the first and drank the second. But, why?

Twice Jesus was offered wine on the cross. He refused the first, and drank the second. But, why?
I've been following a old sermon series going through some of the points of the crucifixion this week. I have actually been jumping around a bit with my studies. Earlier this year I realized that I had not read the Bible cover to cover, so a good bit of my time has been following a study that does just that. Reading, studying, listening to the teaching and then discussion with my discussion group. It's been enlightening to say the least and I'm learning so much more of the true nature and character of God in this study. But, sometimes I will come across a YouTube video, or a friend will send a sermon for me to watch, and I do. That's what led me to this series that Pastor Steven Furtick did several years back called the Seven Mile Miracle. There are 7 or 8 videos in the series, and they are all so rich with teachings, but it was in the sermon titled: The Thirst Trap, that he mentioned something and kept going, but it made me pause.
On the cross, Jesus refused the first cup of wine offered, and drank the second. This is not a detail that had stood out to me in scriptures before, but for some reason, on this day, my ears perked up and I wanted to know why? This felt significant, and what I learned is nothing short of luminescent into the rich character of our Savior.
Mark 15:23 Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it.
Matthew 27:34 There they offered Jesus wine to drink, mixed with gall, but after tasting it, he refused to drink it.
We see in two different accounts that He was offered wine laced with myrrh / gall, and He refused it.
Wine mixed with myrhh was said to have narcotic effects. It is suggested that this wine and myrhh was offered to a crucified person to intoxicate them in an attempt to diminish his suffering.
Wine mixed with gall was said to have the same effect. Offering this to Jesus may have been a medicinal, and merciful, gesture to dull the intense pain.
We know He was in intense pain; so much pain that His body literally sweat drops of blood. But yet, in the midst of this immense pain and suffering, He refused the drinks offered to ease the main. He didn't take the shortcut to his suffering.
So the thought that made me pause was: Why would Jesus refuse the wine offered to help diminish His suffering? I think this is worth reflecting on, and I'll come back to this in a minute.
When I lost Joe, the grief was excruciating. I've written a lot about this so I don't feel a need to dive into all of the emotions of grief in this post, but grief, and grieving a spouse, is one of the worst things I've ever experienced. When you go through something like this, you look for ways to make it better. You look for moments to help ease the pain. Whether it be time out with a friend, watching a TV show, reminiscing through pictures, reading a book, listening to music, going to a movie, taking a walk ... there's countless ways to try and lessen the pain, and we all have a different way of processing pain.
It was early on that I started trying to ease the pain by praying, lamenting really. I'd cry and scream and plead with God to take the pain away. I'd write my feelings - still do this.
I wrestled a lot with God on why. Why did this have to happen?
...and then, in the midst of pouring my heart out to God, He started to reveal to me that He understood my pain. It was in this grieving that I began to realize just how much our Savior suffered for us, and how much the scriptures shows us His love and sacrifice for us. This love and sacrifice is written all throughout scripture. He suffered all of this in His lifetime, and that started to shift my perspective on this suffering.
These trials, this suffering we experience, is not given to us to shake our faith, but to shape it. We can't choose what circumstances we will face in life - but we do have the choice how we respond.
Jesus showed us this in His perfect example of not running away from the pain, choosing not to numb in His most painful moments, but rather feeling it all. Feeling all of the pain and suffering ... and this suffering was on OUR behalf. He did this for all of us. (that thought alone brings me to my knees in gratitude)
Lean into the pain and emotion.
Pastor Levi Lusko explains this in great detail in his book, Through the Eyes of a Lion. His concept of running towards the roar is running right into the pain causes you to face every single emotion head on, to look it right into the eye and with the help of the Savior, lean into it, feel it, deal with it, and heal from it. It's agonizing in the process, but eventually it's healing.
Let's circle back to that question: Why would Jesus refuse the wine offered to help diminish His suffering?
I think, it's to show us just this. To show us that we have to move through the pain, instead of numbing it. We have to lean into the suffering before we can be healed from it. This was his perfect example for us.
I shared these thoughts with a couple of wise women from my faith circle this week, and was brought deeper into the conversation, deeper into thoughts.
Why then would Jesus drink of the second wine offering then?
Luke 15:35 Someone ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink.
Matthew 27:48 Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink.
This second wine offering, wine vinegar, the sour wine, was offered to keep him conscious for as long as possible. In drinking this wine, He would have prolonged His pain.
This is the wine Jesus drank.
But ... why?! The thieves on either side of him, every other condemned criminal would have drank from the first offering, but not the second. They would have chosen to ease their torment, and not prolong the excruciating pain.
But not Jesus.
Jesus did the opposite.
He chose to bear it.
He chose to suffer.
He chose to not take any shortcuts on the way to OUR redemption.
Our precious Savior endured great pain on our behalf. He was beaten, flogged, struck, tortured and crucified - and yet He chose to suffer it all with purpose and intent. He had to suffer the greatest suffering to show us that we too could find purpose and intent on the other side of it.
I'm not sure where you are with pain you have in your life as you read this. But here's what I do know, God desires for us to partner with him in our pain. He longs for us to reach out to him, and use every bit of this pain for a greater purpose.
The situation you're in isn't your final destination, it's preparation for your destiny.
You have the choice in how you walk through the journey.
Will you lean in, or will you tap out?
Reflect: What is God trying to teach me, or build in me to prepare me for my final destiny? How can I lean in and lean on God to walk through this journey well? What is God showing me today that gives me hope that there is beauty in the midst of my trial?
Declare: I will persist in fixing my gaze towards God. I will lean in and lean on God.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. - Ecclesiastes 3:11a