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The Club

The Club...that no one wants to be in

Yea, I said it.


There’s this club of people who understand each other, but no one understands them, until they do.

If you're here with me, I don't want you to be.


This is a club that no one wants to be in – and we don’t want you to be here either.

…because if you were, then you’d know.


You would know what it feels like to see your loved one take their last breath.

You would know how your kids faces look when they are screaming and pleading with their parent to please wake up.

You would know how first responders tell you there’s nothing they can do.

You would know how to tell your kids that their parent is gone.

You would know how to plan a funeral and write an obituary.

You would know how to ask people to speak at their funeral.

You would know all of the sticky things that come up with family after they’re gone.

You would know how to make phone calls to countless people to share the dreadful news.

You would know how painful it is to sleep.

You would know how the dreams come and go, often the nightmare being relived over and over again.

You would know how to handle mounds of paperwork.

You would know how to close financial accounts.

You would know how to continually tell people of the loss, that just didn’t know yet.

You would know how grief comes and goes.  Some days it’s like the gentle breeze, and others like a tsunami knocking your feet out from underneath you.


You would just know … all of these things.  And I for one, do not want anyone to know this.


In the middle of this dark time, there’s a lot of light to be found as well.


You  would also know …


How a friend books a flight and shows up at your doorstep to help you out.

How another friend plans for your family to be fed for several weeks.

How your church community shows up.

How another makes memorial cards and brings them to the funeral.

How another shows up with groceries, and just sits and lets you cry.

How incredibly resilient and strong your kids are, and how they help you keep stepping forward.

How other relationships strengthen.

How loved and surrounded by people in the midst of tragedy. 

How the supernatural world shows up in music, ‘coincidences’, butterflies, dragonflies, rainbows, sunrise and sunset.

How the community and random strangers show up.

How comforting a prayer can truly be.


So, while I will never send you an invite into this club, I will embrace you with open arms if you ever have the need.  I’ll show you the ropes and make sure you feel loved when you enter. 


If you’ve never gotten an invite, I encourage you to show those in your life these things today. 


Take a moment to call a friend and tell them you love them.


Make sure your family knows every day how special they are to you.


…and if nothing else pray for others.

You never know who just might need that special feeling of comfort that only God can provide.