Who am I kidding, it's totally you!
We broke up.
It was long time coming, but today was the day.
I could not stand it anymore. It’s nothing personal…well, maybe it is.
Only in a few rare instances do breakups end on an amicable note. This is one of them.
This year I proclaimed to be my year of self-discovery.
Knowing who I am.
What makes me happy, and sad.
What foods make me feel good, and ones that don’t.
Learning to listen to my body when I exercise and retraining it how to move effectively and pain free.
One thing I know…I cannot do this on my own. I have hired a coach. She is helping me work through my mental issues with my body and weight. It has been a life-long struggle. It is something that I have thought about damn near every moment of every day, for as long as I can remember.
At the center of that, my scale. I have an emotional attachment to that number. I step on it every single morning – and sometimes more throughout the day.
Why? Because I have an emotional attachment to it. It is like my security blanket, my pacifier. When the number on it in the morning is lower than the day before, I feel great. I’ve got this! But the opposite is also true. When that number is higher – I beat myself up, and typically spiral downward.
Why? Why do I do this? How do I let that pesky thing make or break my attitude for the day?
It is ridiculous.
It is time to stop.
Today, we broke up. Not me and my coach. My scale. We ended our relationship.
I have to learn how to feel what my body needs, rather than watch a stupid number go up and down, up and down, up and down…and allow that to be the marker of how I feel.
I know you’re probably thinking, really Laura? Are you seriously that attached to the scale and the numbers on it? Yeah, I am – and the funny thing is, I know I am not the only one.
Today is a new day.
Today I feel great knowing that it does not matter what that number is. Yes, I will go back to it from time to time to allow myself accountability, but this is a new approach. By staying off the scale, I will learn how to listen to my body, how my environment is effecting my moods and my eating patterns – and begin to change that. The change must start there FIRST.
No more stepping on the scale daily. No more allowing the number to determine my mood.
New markers of success –
- How is my energy during different times of the day
- How am I sleeping at night
- How is my mood
- How do certain foods make me feel (physically and mentally)
- How is my digestion
- How strong does my body feel during exercise
- How is my skin
No more. Today – we broke up. I can say…It’s not you, it’s me. And ME feels great!
For you out there reading this that feel the same way, say hello. Let me know what your struggle is. Together we can figure this thing out and beat the beast.
Love and light ~ Laura